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From NetSpeed Leader Volume 35, October 2008
New trainers often have a great deal of anxiety when it comes to resistant and challenging behavior in the classroom. Their fears begin to dissipate when they are able to view resistance as a powerful learning tool and a wonderful opportunity to model productive communication skills.
Our goal as facilitators is to create a learning experience, not to defend our position. Defensiveness generally causes increased resistance and can fuel even more challenging behaviors. Therefore, it is critical to resist the urge to become defensive.
When dealing with resistance, it is of utmost importance to be skilled at asking effective questions. Bob Pike of Creative Training Techniques says that people don't argue with their own data. By asking targeted questions, we may help them to see things differently. Since they are the ones who arrive at these new conclusions, they embrace the new ideas more readily than they might if the facilitator attempted to impose his or her agenda on them.
An effective process for managing resistance is:
1) Listen/Evaluate
What is the participant trying to achieve by their resistance? For example: are they looking for clarification, real-life application, or input from the group?
2) Acknowledge
Demonstrate that you take them seriously. Validate their questions and never make them wrong. Remain neutral, and maintain a calm, non-defensive demeanor.
3) Respond
Resist forcing your own opinion or agenda. Ask effective questions. Use humor when appropriate.
With practice, dealing with resistance can become much less daunting and possibly even a welcome event.
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