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Off the Presses: Was That Really Me? How Everyday Stress Brings Out Our Hidden Personality

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From NetSpeed Leader Volume 10, June 2003

Naomi L. Quenk's new book is an updated version of her Beside Ourselves, published in 1993, which also dealt with psychological types under stress. This edition includes rich new stories and a continued focus on stress, which Quenk now defines broadly as "any external or internal event that lessens or depletes the energy we typically have available to conduct our daily lives."

Although the author begins with some explanation of psychological types, this is no introductory volume. Readers who are already aware of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator(MBTI) and their own psychological type will benefit, and those who are experienced in typology will profit most.

All readers can revisit psychological types through the appendix, which describes the 16 types, along with the opening chapters "The Dynamics of Jungian Typology" and "The Effects of Type Dynamics," which review these basic concepts, and more, in detail:

  • E for Extraversion or I for Introversion. Basically, E types are energized when they interact with the outer environment. I types are energized when they interact with their inner world.
  • S for Sensing or N for Intuition. This letter identifies how a person typically gathers information--through the five senses (S) or through a "sixth sense" (N).
  • T for Thinking or F for Feeling identifies a person's preferred way to judge or make decisions--through objective truths (T) or people-centered values (F).
  • J for Judging or P for Perceiving. This letter identifies one's preference for dealing with the outer world. J prefers reaching decisions, reaching closure, and being methodical. P prefers remaining open, adaptable, and spontaneous.
Author Quenk reviews the basics, leading to her main subject: examining thoughts and behavior under stress. She looks at the use under pressure of the "inferior function," which is essentially the polar opposite of one’s preferred, or dominant, function. For example, if a person's preferred function is Extraverted Thinking, under pressure the inferior function is Introverted Feeling. Note: Quenk uses the term "inferior function" for an individual's unconscious, uncontrolled use of a function. One may, naturally, use the least preferred function consciously when adapting to others.

To get specific, let's look at ESTJs and ENTJs, the Extraverted Thinkers, whose normal style exhibits--among other qualities--competence, truth and accuracy, and decisive action. Under pressure, Extraverted Thinkers may use Introverted Feeling, contorted as an inferior function into hypersensitivity to inner states, outbursts of emotion, and fear of feeling. An ESTJ described herself under stress: "I get so emotional I can't stand myself."

An ENTJ provided this description:
    . . . when I've worked very hard preparing for a training session and am especially tired out, I am plagued with the thought that the trainees don't like me, that they like my colleagues better, especially if the colleague I'm teaching with is a Feeling type.
The richness of the volume lies in its eight chapters of examples of types acting under stress. Typical readers will flip to their chapter, looking for examples of their type when seared in the frying pan or exposed to the fire. Each of these chapters follows a helpful format, covering important features of the type; type "eruptions"; provocations, triggers, and stressors; inferior function; lots of examples of "grip" experiences (when in the grip of stress); the return of equilibrium; midlife experiences; and knowledge gained from grip experiences.

The revealing chapter "When Hidden Personalities Meet" describes a variety of situations in which two people in the grip tangle with each other. Quenk shows inferior functions in action in aptly named case studies involving couples, parent-child relationships, and work situations, some of which may be uncomfortably familiar:

    "It's Not a Criticism; It's My Opinion!"
    "The First Time You Wear It the Whole Thing Will Fall Apart"
    "Promise Me You'll Tell Me if I Get to Be Like Him"
    "Are These People Really Adults?"
Naomi L. Quenk has succeeded in her goal of helping people answer the question Was That Really Me? and to learn from their answer. Aficionados of psychological type will enjoy adding her volume to their collection.

Was That Really Me? How Everyday Stress Brings Out Our Hidden Personality, by MBTI publisher Davies-Black, is available for under $20 from your bookseller.






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