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From NetSpeed Leader Volume 16, April 2004
In broadband communication, we send and receive messages on many channels. How are you and your employees doing when it comes to receiving and sending messages? Are you conscious, committed listeners and effective speakers? Review these strategies to determine areas where your communication might be enhanced.
Six Channels for Effective Listening
Focusing on the speaker.
In your conversations, do you sometimes peek at your email, pick at a jagged fingernail, or think about your next appointment? Don't let your communication be weakened by interference. Instead, focus on the speaker. Participate in the conversation unburdened, with mind open. When you focus on the speaker, you refrain from thinking about what you intend to say or do next, instead you're giving your full attention to what is being said.
Establishing "beginner's mind."
Beginner's mind is a Zen concept. When you establish beginner's mind, you come to each conversation as though it were entirely new. The direct opposite of beginner's mind is those times when you are thinking, "Dale probably wants to complain about his commute again," or "What issue is Lee going to raise now?" When you listen as though you will hear something brand new and useful from the other person, you stay alert and receptive. You come out from behind your desk both physically and emotionally.
Showing attentiveness.
It's important to not only feel attentive—you have to show it. When talking with others, do you and your employees have an attentive posture and a relaxed body? Do you face the other person and look as though you are eager to listen?
Removing external distractions.
Removing external distractions means closing the office door, moving paperwork out of sight, and turning off pagers, phones, and email. It means asking not to be disturbed. When you can't remove distractions because you are expecting an important phone call or because a deadline is looming, let the other person know that it would be better to talk another time, if possible.
Prompting the speaker.
Prompting may be very simple, saying things like "Yes" or "Go on." It may also involve a sincere smile or a sympathetic look. Sometimes a conversation can go wrong when the listener's degree of prompting doesn't match the speaker's need for it. If the person speaking to you says "Are you with me?" it may be that he or she needs more prompting to know that you are paying attention. Similarly, too many "Uh huhs" can be interpreted as autoprompts rather than real attention.
Clicking on "conversational hypertext" to open it up.
In screen documents, you click on hypertext when you want a definition or more information. You can do the same in conversations. For instance, you can "click on" something the speaker says or does, by responding like this: "You seemed annoyed when I asked about the delivery. Tell me how you're feeling" or "Tell me more about that." In contrast, you aren't prompting or opening up the conversation if you ask leading questions likes these: "Did the meeting go fine?" and “Is that understood?” These questions can easily lead to pat, meaningless responses.
The other side of communication is speaking. In what kinds of situations do you and your staff speak most effectively? How would you rate yourselves on these speaking channels?
Five Channels for Effective Speaking
Being certain about the purpose of the conversation.
Do you recognize when your purpose is to problem-solve, delegate, brainstorm, coach, negotiate, or something else? Knowing your purpose is half the challenge in conversations at work. In many conversations, it makes sense to acknowledge the purpose at the start. Then you can comfortably direct the conversation back on track if it wanders.
Minimizing ambiguity by using clear terms and explaining fully.
Do you ever hear yourselves making statements like these? “Let’s keep the costs reasonable” and “Do it as soon as you can get to it." Without clarification, these statements can lead to misunderstandings and missed deadlines. What exactly is “reasonable”? What if the other person can’t get to it until next month? Broadband communication is clear. It doesn’t require mind-reading.
Displaying self-confidence.
When you and your team approach someone, that person gets an immediate impression, based on lots of data they are receiving. This data has to do with your posture, eye contact, and the care you have taken in your personal appearance. Once the conversation starts, he or she gets more information from your voice and how comfortable you seem with the interaction. If your team members want or need to have influence in the organization, it’s essential that they display self-confidence.
Expanding conversational hypertext to minimize hidden information.
Like “clicking on conversational hypertext” to expand the other person’s message, effective speakers expand their own potential hypertext so that they are understood and so that they achieve their purpose in the conversation. For instance, imagine your purpose in the conversation is to negotiate a reasonable schedule for your team. Saying “That will be okay” is unexplained hypertext if you are really thinking “That will be okay if we can also agree on an overtime budget.” You must “click on” your own statements, opening them up and sharing details and definitions that will help you achieve your purpose.
Refocusing attention from issues of status to the true goal of the conversation.
Sometimes issues of status can block conversations. In broadband communication, you are aware when status issues—winning, losing, being right, appeasing—are getting in the way of the purpose. When this kind of “status static” is breaking up the communication, it’s best to refocus on the purpose, making a statement like this: “Let’s work together toward our purpose—generating as many ideas as possible.”
In the NetSpeed Leadership module Building Open Communication, we apply these broadband communication techniques in lots of experiential exercises, and we use models, self-assessments, and follow-up tools that reinforce learning. Contact us for more information about Building Open Communication at your company.
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