|
Back to Index of Newsletters
From NetSpeed Leader Volume 16, April 2004
An essential part of building open communication is having “fierce conversations.” Not to worry—to author Susan Scott, fierce doesn’t mean ferocious or brutal. It means robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, and unbridled. The book opens with these lines: “When you think of a fierce conversation, think passion, integrity, authenticity, collaboration. Think cultural transformation. Think of leadership.”
But how do fierce conversations bring us to “achieving success at work and in life,” as the subtitle indicates? According to Scott, “While no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a company, a relationship or a life—any single conversation can.” Conversations are the stuff of leadership and are “the workhorses of an organization.” Scott believes that leaders must have conversations that question reality, trigger learning, confront challenges, and enhance relationships.
To give a sense of what fierce looks like in Susan Scott’s conversations, here are her seven principles of fierce conversations.
Principle 1: Master the courage to interrogate reality.
Reality changes, and each one of us sees a different reality. Too often, we don’t talk frankly and plainly about what our different realities are. Scott suggests thinking of one’s company as a wide-striped beach ball. The CEO sees only the blue stripe, the CFO focuses on the red, the director of manufacturing lives in the green stripe, and the VP of engineering always deals with yellow. If these key players do not communicate regularly and openly about their reality, the organization and the individuals who work in it will be doomed to struggle and failure.
Principle 2: Come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real.
Scott states, “While many fear ‘real,’ it is the unreal conversation that should scare us to death. Unreal conversations are expensive, for the individual and the organization.” One should not be afraid to talk openly, she suggests, because no one is required to change. Change happens even before a conversation is over—simply by having the honest exchange of information.
Principle 3: Be here, prepared to be nowhere else.
Scott advises that we speak and listen as if each conversation is the most important conversation of our lives—because it could be. She directs us to turn off pagers, cell phones, and email, and to cancel a fierce conversation only if someone is dying. Otherwise, we send the message that such conversations don’t matter. And they matter deeply.
Principle 4: Tackle your toughest challenge today.
According to Scott, we get burned out because we have been trying to solve the same problem over and over. She recommends identifying and confronting our real obstacles. Then we can “travel light, agenda-free.”
Principle 5: Obey your instincts.
We must do more than trust our instincts, says Scott. We must obey them. “Your radar screen works perfectly,” she says, adding, “It’s the operator who is in question.” She recommends that we tune in, pay close attention, and share our instincts with others.
Principle 6: Take responsibility for your emotional wake.
Reading a book about fierce conversations, it’s a relief to find this principle recommended conspicuously. Scotts reminds us, “For a leader, there is no trivial comment.” A remark we may not even remember making may have a lasting negative effect on the other person. Leaders must constantly remember that “The conversation is not about the relationship; the conversation is the relationship.” She recommends unfiltered, unqualified praise for people at every level in the organization—even the very top.
Principle 7: Let silence do the heavy lifting.
Don’t talk—listen. And let silence do the work. Conversations full of talking may be empty of meaning. Don’t rescue a conversation by filling in the silence. And if the other person fills the silence with “I don’t know,” Scott recommends pressing for something real by asking: “What would you say if you did know?”
These are the kinds of questions Scott recommends that you ask if you want to trigger real conversations:
- What has become clear since last we met?
- What is currently impossible to do that, if it were possible, would change everything?
- What topic are you hoping I won’t bring up?
- What do you wish you had more time to do?
- If you were hired to consult with our company, what would you advise?
- If you were competing against our company, what would you do?
Of course, asking questions like these requires listening intently to the answers. Scott goes so far as to suggest that if you really want to find out what others think, don’t state anything—only ask. Only listen.
Fierce Conversations is an excellent volume published in paperback earlier this year. It’s filled with absorbing case studies, along with personal exercises, steps, summaries, lists of questions, and a user’s guide. It’s 287 pages filled with fierce, honest information, published by Berkley Books.
|
A blended learning program for customer service providers |
