On the one hand, I'm sad to leave a supportive community (It's an 80-voice choir!) and the joy of singing sacred, inspirational music; on the other hand, the pace of our lives has quickened lately and we are committed to spending more time with our children. Leaving our kids in the hands of a sitter while we rehearsed and performed somewhere else just didn't satisfy our priority of having a healthy family.

I've had to let employees go over the years and I've had a similar mix of competing emotions: sadness over ending the working relationship mixed with the confidence that it is best for me, for them, and the health of the company if they move on to a greater good. Leadership in life often involves the ability to identify competing priorities and make hard choices that ultimately benefit everyone involved.

One of my teachers, Angeles Arrien, speaks of the need to create honorable closure for these transitions. To close with grace, we communicate our appreciation for the lessons learned in the relationship, we acknowledge the good and the not-so-good experiences, we give thanks, and move forward without blaming a person or situation for the past.

For example, in my choir experience, I take ownership of my decision to leave the choir without blaming anyone for our struggles with child care. In releasing employees, I have learned to be truthful without demonizing or vilifying the employee in order to get them to move on. So here are some questions to consider:

Are there competing priorities in your life that need to be sorted out?
Is it time to release an activity or relationship that no longer serves you?
Can you communicate your needs and observations truthfully without blaming (demonizing or vilifying)?
Would making these choices create freedom and renewal?

If you answered "yes" to these questions, then it may be time to courageously make the tough choice to release the past and step forward into the future. It may not be an easy choice, but I hope it is a simple one.