My friend shares the same name, is the same age and completely fits the passenger's description. She's beautiful. She has a soothing voice (she's a mediator and conflict resolution expert), and she lights up a room when she enters. I was filled with grief that her life might have ended. I was 98% certain that I was reading about my colleague. I called a mutual friend and shared the news. We both wondered what we should do. I looked up her contact information and thought about what I would say when I called her home.

And a tiny voice in my head kept saying, “It might not be her.” With that hope, I worked up my courage and left her a voice mail message telling her I was worried and asking her to call me. Ten minutes later, I was ecstatic to hear her voice asking, “Cindy, why are you so worried?”

It took me four hours to make that phone call. I moved from sorrow and grief to relief and happiness in a single moment. We talked about how odd it was that someone else in our city shared her name, age and personal characteristics. We felt sad that anyone had died in this awful way. And we made a date for lunch in the future to catch up on our lives.

As I reflected on my Saturday, it was clear to me that I created the experience of losing a friend. Believing that she had died, I cried and worried and felt deep sadness. Since then I've been wondering how often I have created the very emotional experience that I fear. When I'm looking at cash flow, do I act as if the money won't be there and react to that fear? When I'm thinking about a difficult relationship, do I act as if that person is impossible and treat them that way? When I think something should happen the way I've scripted it in my mind, do I get tense and impatient when it unfolds differently?

You and I are always making up stuff to explain what's happening around us. What lens do you choose to view the world through? I spent four hours on Saturday believing something that was untrue and experiencing all of the emotions that stemmed from that false belief. How would you live differently if you believed that you were 100% responsible for the quality of your experience?

Life has a way of providing just the experiences we need.