I have taken on the riskiest job I've ever performed in my life recently: teaching Sunday School for ten children, ages 5 & 6. I took on this task for many reasons but top of the list were first, my desire to give back to a children's program that has really served my own kids and second, a goal to develop better parenting skills and strategies.
My experience is probably familiar to anyone who begins working with children when they have no previous education or background in this field: moments of sheer joy alternating with a gripping fear that it's all about to spin hopelessly out of control. My love of theater, storytelling and music serve me well. When I want to get their attention, I can get it pretty quickly and then I can hold that audience in focused attention for a good five minutes!
Where I lack critical skills is in the areas of classroom management and structure, and the ability to deal with unacceptable behavior firmly and clearly. I tend to be the Pied Piper of Sunday School teachers, luring my little minions away from rolling on the floor or punching their siblings with a good, dramatic story or an interactive song.
Fortunately, I have a coach (the youth program director) who is providing lots of feedback and encouragement. I get high marks for creativity, energy, and play. I am getting good suggestions, ideas and examples from my coach about how to deal constructively with the restless, wild, rebellious spirits that sometimes show up in class on Sunday. In the end, both of us are redirecting energy and behavior from what's not working to what works for everyone.
In the NetSpeed Leadership module, Coaching to Redirect, we use the analogy that coaching someone to hit a target requires positive and negative reinforcement. The mindset of a good coach is one of supporting progress and development through feedback that redirects and feedback that praises. The coach is right there guiding, supporting, reinforcing, and redirecting. The presence of the coach makes it possible for the person being coached to take small risks as they develop their skills, and eventually to perform successfully on their own.
So, here I am, learning to give positive and negative reinforcement to a room full of youngsters in a Sunday School class. I'm their coach as they learn self-management skills. And while they're learning, I'm learning. With the aid of my coach's positive and negative reinforcement, I am developing the capability and confidence to manage a room full of high-energy five-year olds. Maybe it isn't so risky after all.
